Canaan's Journey

This past Saturday, I visited Rowena’s store, Accents by Josie, in downtown St Petersburg. The store sells boutique clothing and some home interior items and I always enjoy checking out their new inventory.

In the very back is a long mirror mounted on the wall which reaches from the floor up to the ceiling.   It’s beautifully adorned and would be an awesome addition to anyone who has a home with high ceilings.

The unique thing about this mirror is it’s disportionate reflection of it’s subjects.  As you stand there, your full-length view casts a facade to make you look incredibly and porportionately thin.   It’s wonderful and is a good boost to anyone’s esteem who needs to view themselves a little “lighter” around the middle.

As I stood there, admiring my thin little self, I started humming, “I feel pretty… oh so pretty”.  It was so automatic that I didn’t even realize I was humming this song for the first few lines.  Once I realized the tune, I said out loud, “look at me…I’m so pretty!” then started laughing.

So, here’s my question..

Does Pretty equate to Thin? 

Are all the thin people beautiful and chubby people are not beautiful? 

Who  made up this rule? 

Don’t get me wrong. I think we should take care of ourselves and do what we can to live as long as possible by exercising and making educated choices in our diet plans.

but I hope that we never forget how important to find beauty in everyone, including ourselves, regardless of size and beauty.

Psalms 139 reads…

Even in my mother’s womb you were there.  You created my inmost being and knit me together and called me by name.I encourage everyone to wake up every morning with a song in their heart and words in their mouth as they leave home to face their world…

I praise you Oh God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…   

and it’s a good thing!

Pastor Belva introduces Canaan

On March 5, Canaan Band and all their partners & friends loaded up their equipment and gear and headed up to Raleigh to participate in their 34 year celebration.

It was a long 12-hour drive and lots of stops along the way for bio breaks and gas fillups.  It’s probably needless to mention that 10 people on a long trip can sometimes prove to be tumultous and nerve-wracking…but not on this trip!  We had SO much fun with each other, with no complaining, nagging or disruption… just fun.

When we got to Raleigh, we were accepted with open arms. In fact Scott, picked me off the ground and spun me around! Yikes! no one has even dared to try pick me up in a long time. Gee… hope Scott hasn’t herniated any organs in his body?

We were able to spend more time with Jim & Kevin which was special to us. Jim has done so much to help us with the website and we have become dear friends over the time spent on this project.  

After the concert on Saturday night, we diligently went out to look for a place to eat. As the story goes, places to eat in Raleigh are few and far between after 9:00 p.m. so we bounced to several places trying to find food. 

Delicious, our drummer, was so hungry that he started getting a little cranky. So I told him to go buy an appetizer to hold him over until we could get a table. So he returns a while later with a plate of 2 chicken rolls and sits down on the stairs to enjoy. He bows his head and closes his eyes to pray, and just as he did… those wonderful little chicken rolls ROLLED RIGHT OFF THE PLATE AND LANDED ON THE FLOOR!

I felt such sorrow for him but had to hold my tears of laughter back.  Oh my goodness!  The look on Delicious’s face as he stares down on the floor at those dear little chicken rolls, was such a sight to see.

We finally ended up at IHOP around 11:30 and ate greasy, fried and syrup-ey food and felt satisfied that we finally got something to eat.

Sunday morning, we went to church and were blessed by Garrick’s wonderful voice as he led us in worship.  WOW!  We all felt like we were in heaven as we participated in this music.

Rev Arlene Ackerman preached a “fresh” sermon about the direction of today’s church. She didn’t use the “buzz” words that most sermons are permeated with, rather she spoke in real terms and every-day words that anyone could understand.   I had never heard her preach, but I would definitely make it a point to come and hear her if she were preaching at a church near me. 

Tammy Hatch sang her song, “Nobody Knows Me Like Jesus” and the spirit of God was present with no doubt.

We had dinner then packed and headed back to Florida with a tinge of sadness in our hearts. It was like leaving home for us!

Pastor Belva, her staff and congregation are da bomb!   You made us feel so welcome and our hearts are full of love for each one of you.

Many hugs and love to everyone!

When my partner broke up with me, it was the most devastating thing! I didn’t see this “bombshell” coming and was not prepared for the heartache.  I couldn’t understand how and why I couldn’t see this coming.  I’d always seen myself as a pretty perceptive kind of person.  But this event ”smacked” me upside the head and left me reeling in some emotions that I had not felt before.

Of course, it was obvious that after we broke up, I would need to move out.  So I rented a room from one of my dear friends, Tony. He was so gracious to fix up a room in his big 4 bedroom bungalow house in old south Tampa that was quaint and very home-like.  I was very comfortable and felt secure to be with such a good friend.

Every night after work, I would run home and change into my jeans and go to a local recording studio to work on recording my second CD. We would work until the wee hours of the morning, then I’d wearily get into my car and drive home.

Once I left the studio parking lot of the studio, I would go to the stop sign and could either turn to go back to Tony’s, my new home. Or I could turn the other way and drive by where my partner lived.

Most times, I would choose the latter.  but WHY!???

Why would I want to drive by the house and see someone else’s car sitting in the driveway?
Was that to drive the wedge in my already broken heart?
Was it my way of trying to find closure by seeing that my life with this person were done and over?

My relationship with this person was surely over and I needed to resolve to this outcome.  But I found it so hard to resist driving by and seeing and feeling that rejection once more as it stabbed me and brought me down another notch in my already failing self esteem.

So those nights as I would make the wrong choice by turning to drive by one more time, I someitmes felt like I was starting be in borderline stalking mode.

One night, I left the studio and once again headed to the stop sign, which was my crossroads for decision this particular night. As I pulled up to the intersection trying to decide which way to turn, I heard this still small voice, “Mel, you don’t go that way anymore. I have closed this door and you need to see the NEW things I’m doing in your life”   Next I heard, “Go home, you don’t go that way anymore.”

With that, I turned and went home.  I realized that even the heartbreaking experience of losing a relationship may be something that needs to happen so that I can move into the next place that God has planned for me.  Of course, I cried all the way home with tears that things were really over and this chapter was closed…tears that I heard from my God, my Friend, my Deliverer…tears that HE spoke to me and cared about me over something that some people would call a small thing.

Perhaps you are sitting in that place where you keep wanting to go back to the old place, the old relationship, the life that God is trying to move you out?

Perhaps God is saying, “You don’t go that way anymore”.

Isaiah 43: 18,19 – Why do you keep looking back? Behold, I’m doing a new thing in you. Can you not see it?